4-7-98 ~ 4-27-02
Our Laura lost her battle. After 8 weeks without food, only glucose and morphine. The last week she became blind, the last days she hardly moved any more. It was hard to see her deteriorate like that. Very slowly, but very surely, she was slipping away.
Finally she started breathing irregular and died in her sleep. A nurse was by her side. They were great in the hospital, they gave her comfort she needed and often just kept her company. But there was not much anyone could do. It was difficult to hold her in our arms because she had become so skinny and every move was hurting. So most of the time, these last weeks, she was lying in bed, listening to our voices and looking at the lights. When she became blind, she was very unhappy, as if she was afraid. She tried to remove something that was in front of her eyes, but there was nothing there. These things were hard for us to deal with.
When she finally past away, we were immensely sad, but also we fdt that it was OK. Because she fell asleep without pain and her story could have no other ending. I saw her for the last time in the hospital a few hours after she passed. She had a soft smile on her lips and she really looked as if she was sleeping and dreaming beautiful dreams. There comes a time of letting go, we have to accept that but I know we will have a hard time in the future.